Marriage is perhaps one of the most special bonds Allah bestows us with. It brings along companionship – a companionship which even Adam (a.s) yearned for in paradise before Hawa (May Allah be pleased with her) was created. The Qur’an provides us with wise marriage tips to carry out this beautiful bond with love, care, affection and above all, the remembrance of Allah.
Show mercy towards your spouse
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”
When the honeymoon phase of your marriage is over, you’ll see each other at your worst. It is on those days that you must show mercy towards your spouse by taking care of them despite the fact that they are not your favorite person at the time. If you have experienced this mercy in your marriage, know it is from Allah.
Be their garment
“…They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.” [Qur’an, 2:187]
What do our clothes do for us? They protect us from the outside world and its hot or cold weathers, provide comfort and warmth. Above all, they conceal our bodies. In the same way, Allah says that we must be like a garment to our spouse. We must protect them, shield them, provide them comfort and love and most importantly, conceal their faults.
Always be grateful
“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.”
Show gratitude towards your spouse. It is one of the best things you will do in your marriage.
There is a hadith which talks about ungrateful towards the spouse. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Bukhari)
The moral of the story is that you must focus on the good and appreciate the little things your spouse does for you.
“So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].”
Be lenient with your spouse. Usually, when we have spent years with someone, we tend to lose our manners around them. Do not be harsh because every heart deserves mercy and gentleness.